Flash back Friday

I just received my birth photography late last night. Long wait? sure. Did it kill me inside waiting for these? ah…. yeah. Worth it? YOU KNOW IT!

Actually, before we go any further into this post, you should go show her FB page some love. She is beyond talented. She is that photographer that makes your ovaries ache for a baby, cause she is what the definition of perfection is.  She is kind, lovely, professional and brings her A game when doing her thing.


If you are in my neck of the wood, just a FYI. She has payment plans. Not many offer this. You can start pre paying for packages before your little bundle arrives.  AMAZING. 

So back to my photos. *giggles with excitement*  My photos bring me back to that night/day. They are raw, real, I go back to that very moment by looking at them. The pain, love, excitement in those photos. I feel it all over again.

So, here, enjoy some of the REAL. I am not a hot mess in ALL of them. But most of them.

I am a real person. I did not walk in with make up on, hair did and fancy clothing. My hair is a mess, my face swelled up ( UGH i hate that. I walk in with thin face, you walk out with puffy face. FOR DAYS! lol )  and my clothing ( most of it) came off. 

This hospital is very surrogate friendly. The nurses, doctors, all of the staff.. every single person i came into contact with, was beyond wonderful. This lady in the photo, sadly I do not remember her name ( we all know how much change overs happen while you are staying at a hospital .. i met so many people!) she was one of my favorites. She was just a real person. She has been doing her job for a while. You can just tell. But I mean that in the best way.  She did not beat around the bush. She was hilarious. It was near the end of her shift, I wish i walked in on the beginning of her shift. If you are in my area, and you get her… you will love her. As long as you too have a awesome sense of humor. I wish I could have given her the water birth i planned for… but sadly my body had another route to take.


This was me showing off my awesome dance moves to my photographer. If you are caught up, you will have seen the post with my video. HA

Now you need to meet my Doula Sue. Seriously. I felt lucky to have scooped her up. She is THE Doula you want. She wears many capes when she shows up for you. Doula, sub-in-mom, friend, your strength when you have lost it, comforter, supporter, bath-room-helper, ice-chip fetch’er ( and feeder!), hot-blanket- getter ,advocate, massage therapist, hard-ass ( when you need to be told you CAN do it) personal cheerleader, the list is endless really. She was my person I took to the operating room. I needed her calmness. She had to be the one. My husband understood. Was almost thankful he did not have to go in. He even admitted how amazing she was, not to just me, but to him, the daddies, everyone involved. She is the reason i held on so long with out meds. She pushed me. Explained things to me. She was everything.


You should go like her page. And secure her now, if your pregnant. You will not regret it. Tell her Courtney sent you. 🙂

Now… I dunno about you, but when I meet my Doctor team.. it’s when i’m coming out of the bathroom, in my underwear ( HELLO DEPENDS!! ) They so kindly introduced themselves. So sweet. Look at that young girl in the photo. She looks still innocent almost. But lets focus on the Doctor for a second. Sadly I do not remember his name. Not because I forgot it … no no… it’s because I watch Grey’s. And if you are a greys fan, no man doc is remembered for his NAME. no its his NICKNAME. Meet Mc.Baby Doc. ( What?! look at him! he looks so young!)

Which reminds me of my awesome conversation with him just before I left the hospital. He brought up birth control. I gave him that ” What are you talking about” look.

Then he gave me that ” Did i say something wrong?” look

Then he realized that I had my tubes tied. I do not need that little pill every day. And that it’s not every day someone comes in, gives birth with tied tubes and 2 men go home with the baby. HA

Ugh. I am SO sexy here. But man. Contractions every 2 -3 minutes, for HOURS and HOURS… is enough to make you go bat shit crazy, exhaustion hits. Defeat over comes you. Then you get checked… and you’re not dilating. Hello emotional break down.


This is the moment i break. I am told, after arriving at 11pm on the 4th. and it now the late morning of the 5th. Nothing is moving along…  I can’t mentally, emotionally and physically handle much more. GIVE THIS GIRL THE MEDS! Once again, Sue to the rescue. Reminding me, its been hours. I am not a failure. Most would have given in long ago. I just thought I was closer to the end then I was. Everything thought I was. To be told i was still 2 cm was… mind-blowing.


But .. HELLO GAS! You and I are BFFS now. This made the contractions a little more …. ok.  Till the big epidural arrived. Which wore off by the way. my one side after a while, still felt them. That sucked. lol

After another bunch of hours. Baby having her heart rate drop. I had a choice. To up the meds to induce everything for 45 min in hopes my body just jump starts…. if not, it would potentially be an emergency c-section if baby does not handle it well. OR c-section now. I had another emotional break down. The very thought of a c-section scared me. Its surgery. The healing time after is longer. Its hard on your body. I would have been out of work longer. Everything about this upset me. This was not my end goal. This is not how I wanted them ( daddies to be) to become Dads. I wanted them to watch their daughter be born. Be a part of every moment. That was now taken away. I cried. The doctors, they gave me 5 minutes to let it out. Mentally prepared for it. I needed it. I’m thankful for that.

The Daddies to be, They even let me keep baby with me, in the OR after she was born. I got to hang out with her. Then when I was wheeled back into the room, they came in. I still got to hand them their daughter. That moment was everything to me. I got to see it. Be a part of it. I’m thankful for that. They gave me that.

So TADA! look! a baby!


Now yes, That is my breast. Most people passing by this blog, has seen one before, have their very own set, and grasp the fact that baby is eating. This is normal. But whats so special about these photos.. is I got to breast feed her for her first meal. I pumped for her the whole time she was here. She got the best meal for free! I was producing it, might as well give her the good stuff! The daddies even got to fly home with frozen milk to give her and mix with her formula when she arrived home!

Did I bond more with her because i was breast-feeding her? No. This was to give her a meal. We all know how important the first few days of breast milk is so important and good! I had started pre pumping so i had some of my colostrum frozen for them all 🙂

It’s funny thou, she was so healthy she was allowed to leave the hospital less than 3 hours after being born! I on the other hand had to stay. HA But even I escaped early too.

It’s hard to believe that little bundle is 2 months old NEXT WEEK! Where in the world has the time gone?! I get photos almost daily from her Dads. we Skype at least once a week. And we are planning my trip to visit them all this summer. I need to get in some snuggles from her, and spend some time with her amazing Dads.

Life is good.

One comment

  1. Kerri · January 30, 2018



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