Peeing on sticks like it’s my job!

So if you have been following along, I went to Vegas last Sunday Jan 20th for my transfer on Jan 21st.

I arrived home Thursday late morning from my night flight.

Of course, I peed on a stick with in an hour of being home. How can you not?! Negative. Clearly. lol I was not even 3 days post transfer. HAHA So with an almost 3 pm transfer in Vegas it was technically a 6 pm my time transfer.

So what do I do? I wake up Friday morning and pee on another stick.  I am technically 3.5 days. BOOM. Freakishly-light-phone can’t pick up the line on the phone camera -no one is gonna believe me I can’t tell my IPS yet, because they can’t see the line, I might be wishing for lines that are not even there….red line. 20190125_0713021797862628473693902.jpg

I try to send it anyways. 1 person says they see it. My kid says he see’s it, so It’s offical, I am not crazy. But I now have to wait till that night, to try again, and maybe it will be a little more visible.  Can you see it? Even by sending it, the quality goes down in the pic. So to the average person, it’s just a 1 lined negative test. BUT ITS NOT! lol

So…. of  course, I take a dollar store test ( shout out to my hubby for grabbing me a million on his way home from work! ) I was not expecting anything. They are from the dollar store .But so much cheaper!!!

Again, almost impossible to see. You have to be a secret agent to see the dame thing. Or come look at in person. so you will just have to take my word for it.


Yea, you are looking at sticks I PEED ON. Enjoy.

So, once again…. go to bed. Now we are saturday morning. I am 4.5 days.


THERE IT IS! so basically, you are seeing for the first, what I have seen for a little while now. lol. Finally its strong enough to pick up on camera. lol Excited?! DAMN RIGHT.

But , still not ready to tell my IPS. I know, how can I keep this secret?! Easily . I had to run off to Hockey because my kid had an out-of-town game in the morning. I had not even put on my glasses let alone take the sleep chunks outta my eyes before I peed on this stick. Priorities. Geessh.

So I tell the guys that I am off to hockey, but will pee when I get home. I had a plan. I did not want to just send a stick I peed all over to them in a message. How impersonal can i be?! I need to do things in a special way. It’s a BIG DEAL! It is there very first pee stick! lol

So I had shirts made a month ago, in hopes… we were gonna eventually end up at this point.



Needles to say it took them a few minutes to reply back. Who knows what was going on over there. lol But when I got a message, you can imagine the excitement and emotional status of 2 men getting this news.

Now of course, we still have to reach another IVF milestone. Blood-work. We need to confirm BETAS. So this morning, I pulled my ass out of bed before 6 am, to drive to Lifelabs, to wait till 7 when the door opens, to wait till 7:30am to actually get blood drawn. Now we have to wait for results to be posted, and they way they are going this year with results, it takes F O R E V E R. And by forever, i mean 24 hours. Which is odd, because last journey, I got my results before I ever went to bed. So this is torture.

THEN, I have to do it all over again Thursday, and wait till Friday for my results to see if they have jumped in numbers like expected to be CONFIRMED pregnant. It’s a big process.

So 1 milestone at a time. Cross your cross-ables for us. WE want this to go as planned. I mean Vegas is cool, but I rather not do this all over again. I would just like to go on and get a big ol belly, with a healthy baby bouncing around till Its time for her/him to meet their parents. 🙂

So naturally, I pee again this morning before blood work. I am technically 6.5 days as i pee on this little guy. The goal is to watch the line get darker, As a surrogate, this is our only go to , watch the line darken. It gives a small dash of hope that… everything is gonna be ok. We have things to worry about , like every pregnancy like chemicals, loss, anything. Pregnancy is always so …. on its own terms. You NEVER have a guarantee that things are going to be PERFECT. You just put all your eggs in one basket ( no pun intended lol) and take 1 day at a time.


So, Now I have become a Pee stick addict. They should have a support group for surrogates and peeing on sticks. Some pee every few hours to see a line darken. True story. Its exciting when your bladder is full and you have a bathroom stash of pregnancy test. lol


These are only 3. Only because they are the good ones. But trust me, Many more have been used ,and tossed. lol



That IS TOTALLY My pee dribbles. BHAHA

So the joys of IVF comes with taking pills 3 times a day and stabbing yourself in the ass till you reach the safe viable stage where you body can officially take over on its own at 12 weeks pregnant. So right now, the needles are not …… terrible. But trust me, after a few weeks of stabbing over , and over .. in the same location… your ass gets hard, and lumpy . bruised, not attractive at all. Not the kind of lump growth you want. You want it in the front where your chest is. … well some of us do….. lol

But, I mean… I am over here, stabbing myself in my upper butt… and its never easy to stab a long needle in your own body. I dunno how the surrogates, or anyone doing IVF that has to do it, can just …. BAM… stab full-blown. I go slow. And I swear i can feel it go through every layer of skin. lol It does not hurt, it just … is weird, the resistance of the needle to my skin, muscle.. whatever the hell its stabbing. Then the oil is so damn thick… it’s a nice slow process. So, if all goes well, i have weeeeeeekkkkkks left of stabbing. *eye roll* 

Alost with this transfer I have been blessed with cramps. Ugh. ALL the time. They say it’s a good sign,… implantation. All I feel is a little embryo digging a hole in me. That’s how I envision it anyways.

Now with these meds, comes the med-induced belly bump. Where you already look pregnant, but your barely pregnant because the em-baby is legit .. the size of a chia seed. It has all the damn room to grown, but my body is all dramatic and is going ” OMG WE ARE PREGNANT! BLOAT THE GUTS! MAKE ROOM! WE HAVE A BABY!!! CUSHION PEOPLE!WE NEED MORE CUSHION. “ Or that’s how I think its going down anyways.


I choked on a pill last friday. We have to take these blue pills 2 times a day for 5 days to fight off intended infection after transfer. I don’t do pills well. I was working. I choked. I vomited. The little girl in care lectured me on getting sick. Then blamed her Grammy, because her Grammy got sick, who in turn got her Grampy sick, who clearly …. got me sick. HA #kids.

But then I had this burning hole in my throat from where the pill just … hung out. Forever. It was stupid.

Now lets move on to some really fun medication facts. What they do to your lady bits.

They make you smell . That’s what they do! It’s just … inconsiderate and rude. I am not talking like … dirty. No .. I smell like a hospital down there. A medicated vagina. WTH.

There is no other way to describe it.

1 minute you are leaking out a sticky goooo for days on end getting your lining all thick and fluffy… then you are smelling like you walked into a hospital. Or a pill. You know how some pills have a scent? Am I crazy? They totally do. That’s my lady bits. Petunia smells like a pill. #FACTS Listen, you came here to follow my journey, i am not here to sugar coat this and make it seem like every stage is full of glitter. ( No i will just leave  that for my daycare kids to throw all over lol) Its full of ups and downs and smells and weird things. So , you know … you have been warned.

Mood swings? HELLO! I am rage-y 1 minute, emotional the next tossed in with a little bit of ‘ I could fuck you up right now‘ if you even so much as give me the side eye.

All these Hormones and I can’t even handle my own face some days. It is BRUTAL. I try to avoid people when I am feeling this way. I just could not be bothered. Dont message. Don’t call, Just know I am over here existing, ill call you when I adjust. Ha. But my husband does not get this option. Nor is it even his baby where he can be like ” its ok babe” It’s not. But do you think I care that you have no control over a  fart smelling? That my Kid just talked back to me, that someone said ” I am hungry after I JUST sat down? COME ON! 

I am queen of snappy comments right now. Things I would let go, I don’t. lol I mean part of me is totally ok with it. You know how you are always wishing you could say NO more to people? Yea I am over here like Oprah. ” YOU GET A NO! YOU GET A NO, … YOU GET A NO TOO!” Pft. Sorry. Not sorry. HA

Now if you know me personally, don’t go talking about my medicated hospital va jay jay in public. Read it. Let it go. Move on. LOL

Well, I will leave you on that note.

Send me all your high good BETA number wishes this way. Lets hope this little chia seed wants to stick around and grow 🙂 I mean , I think I am offering a pretty awesome staging house for the next 8+ months. But .. that’s just me. 🙂


Don’t forget to follow me on IG


And if you do find any of this, at all interesting, or want to support the surrogacy world, or wanna be cool and give me a shout out in a shared post on social media, that would be cool too. #GetMoreReaders ❤ 


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